Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Who knew that photography could feel terrifyingly revealing?

I have a secret.

It's been a long time since I've had the urge to go out with my camera. A long time. Sure, this blog is full of pictures, but those are taken with my phone and somehow don't count in my mind as pursuing photography. I've felt a fair amount of guilt over this lack of interest in taking pictures the way I used to. I've taken my camera out with me because I felt I ought to - after all, I saved up to buy a DSLR, I spent 4 years at college (overseas, no less) to make my photography dreams a reality, I've spent time and money entering exhibitions or putting my own together, printing images, framing, and now...that love has just been...gone.

I've wondered, too many times to count, if I ever had any talent to begin with, or if the decent pictures I've done have been just beginners luck. (Really, who among us hasn't had those kinds of thoughts?) I guess I've just been in a rut with no idea how to get out. What inspired me during college (weekend journeys to the English countryside) is no longer possible (geographically speaking), and I don't have the luxury of just being able to take off on a trip (work and responsibilities really put a kink in that one). So I guess I've been searching for new inspiration.

At long last, I felt the call yesterday to grab my camera and just go. I forced all those little voices saying "not good enough" into a corner and resolved to ignore them. My whole entire goal for today was go get up early and head out to Peters Canyon with my camera and tripod and walk and walk and take pictures - not even a lot of pictures, just a handful. If most of them are awful, who cares, just take them anyway, and hopefully there will be ONE that is sort of okay. ONE that I can be happy with.

I came back with 4 that I like. I don't know if they're any good or not, but it's a start. And it seems like maybe a new style might be trying to emerge, perhaps influenced by all those pictures snapped with my camera these last couple of years.




Maybe, if you're an artist or seeking your creative path, some of this rings true with you. Maybe not. This is all just terrifying revealing.

By the way, a two-hour walk looking at trees, leaves and streams can definitely cure what ails you! 

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